It must be a white thang

Of all the girls i grew up with, only ONE was maybe a lesbian [according to RTO last time i talked to her, she is now a closet l-word..]

Me and she, NOT Ms RTO, but the maybe-lesbian softball player used to got to West Fourth Street and twice to Ruckers to play basketball…and YEAH, she could slam dunk too, when she hit 5’10″

Don’t know how y’all white folk picnic or pick up chicks…but softball was ALWAYS the answer in the ‘hood

UNLIKE a certain Ms Liberman, chicks can’t PLAY basketball with GUYS, no matter WTF they did on their high school teams…and whilst they may be athletic…touch football is out of the question since WE(guys) used to touch the hell out of ‘em

THAT leaves softball AND volleyball/badminton.

MAYBE because the asphalt jungles of NYC makes it more conducive for US to consider softball a co-ed mating ritual…or maybe it was because WE ghetto rats didn’t have the nets to play volleyball or badminton

Yeah, i don’t want to sit next to some queer with AIDS…but i’m SURE they don’t want to sit next to some hetero with hatred

It’s no secret that lots of lesbians love softball. Some say that lesbians and softball go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Shiite…i’m tongue-in-cheekingly echoing John Rocker as you Mets’ fans realize…but Amy Guthrie [no relation to Woody & Arlo i'm sure] and the NY Post/Faux News/Tea Party Axis of Evil are ALREADY smearing Justice Elena Kagan…who i hope is such an activist RAGING lesbo judge that SHE makes Wanda Sykes look like snowmotherfuckin’ WHITE and fucks them Klan motherfuckers so deep up the ass their tonsils be poppin out their eyeballs

Are you kidding me or what

There’s NOW a disease called shift change disorder…can i gits a behind THAT

Been hearing an ad for that bullshit every morning on WABC talk radio…an ad pushing medication for some bullshit condition that doesn’t exist…and Obama’s wondering WHY his healthcare sytsem is gonna be FUCKED

Straight the motherfuck up…after hearing that bullshit commercial on Imus for the umpteenth time i KNEW i was gonna riff on it, then i saw this [what i thought was a one time only ad in the NY Metro again]—Transvaginal Mesh Patch?—and the ad goes on to say:

If you or a female relative has been injured after the surgical use of a TMP, then you may be eligible to file a lawsuit against one of several manufacturers of these defective devices used to repair pelvic organ prolapse and stress urinary incontinence…neither of which sound like a life-threatening DISEASE to me

WAS reading today that the Supremes are gonna be WASP-free for the first time EVER

Housenigger Thomas, a CATHOLIC…iz probably gonna wake up an realize Massuh done gandalfed it west..ain’t cool being a redneck/stater no mo’

[Courtesy of ArtFagCity]

Man, i haven’t seriously watched basketball since OJ Simpson cost the Knicks the NBA championship…the Knicks were about to kick ass when OJ and his motherfuckin’ Bronco came on screen on EVERY motherfucking channel in NYC…including PBS

Last nite i watched this Steve Nash kid kicking ass with ONE eye…and IF there’s a WhiteBoy Hall of Fame in b-ball HE is the number one motherfucker in there AHEAD of Larry Bird, Dave DeBusschere, Mike Riordan, Jerry West, John Havelcek, Kevin McHale, and even this talentless little scrub:

who shaked & baked some NBA legends the way Harold Weatherall & a certain Mr Elton Faulk used to abouse me on the courts…..

FUCK Kobe and LeBron—Steve Nash plays REAL basketball—not that sissy shit they’re playing NOW which will eventually lead to the WNBA merging with the NBA…and WOMEN playing linebacker in the NFL

blisster replied on Apr 24, 2010 at 08:42:50
“Maybe the reason you hated baseball is because you were unable to hit the orb off the tee.”

EVERYBODY’s either a gangsta or a clown/clone on the internet

With the exception of track…for some strange reason i always wanted to race Jim Ryun and pole vault like Bob Seagren…gave up on the former when i ran a 4:17 mile at an AAU meet, my BEST time when i was 15, and finished FIFTH Couldn’t do the latter because for some reason NYC high schools couldn’t afford the insurance for the even…WTmotherF

Now here’s how i transpose stuff—in the Seventies there was this California horse trainer who ran his horses on the beach, i figured if THEY could win doing that, then so could i—and since Rockaway has a BEACH, i had the opportunity to do so.

So i’d get up early in the morning and do wind sprints in the loose sand by the boardwalk…little did i realise that THAT would make me a leaping machine when it came to basketball

Nah, i didn’t fly like Dr J…but came damn near close to it

If we had kept stats in the schoolyards and parks i played, i’d have had triple doubles galore—rebounds, steals, and assists—and in some games i’d double-digit on the blocked shots…MOST games double-digited on the fouls…which is why they called me Dave De Butcher

Unfortunately, i more into lysergic than lay-ups by the time basketball came into my life…so although i DID practice, i wasn’t as devouted as i should have been.

Never practiced baseball more than i had to…but sure as hell could hit the orb off the tee

Pretty sure if i had gotten INTO baseball i’d have been a .500 hitter unless they walked the hell out of me.

Wanted to do steroids so that i could play football…back then all we knew about steroids was that they made you bigger…but after Dr Brust hit the ceiling when i asked him for a prescription for them there was no way in hell i’d have done them—so i’d have been stuck being a contact hitter with very few home runs—but i’d also be an on base threat because i used to steal bases like crack heads stole car radios.

Thing is, in our ‘hood baseball was NEVER considered a real sport

Playing baseball was almost as bad as fucking around with teenage hookers in our neighborhood….

A word on Mr Taylor’s predicament:

WARNING: X-rated link to the dumbest porn i ever saw

Now this chick, who calls herself Queen, is supposed to be a Nubian queen AND a goddess…right

No self-esteem problems there…but look at all the bullshit she does—and then 2:20 in she ask the dude if he’s gonna wear a condom to which he replies For a dick suck? and she’s easily convinced to do it without one—Did somebody cure AIDS and forgot to tell ME

THIS is one of the places i go every now and then to pick up blood to carry over to the Department of Health for testing…and at times women outnumber men three to one…so IF you “think” that AIDS is just a homo disease…think again!

And what the fuck does THIS have to do with LT

IF prostitution was legalized, not only would LT not be in trouble now, but the specter of AIDS would realistically decline…and if you check out that Queen chick in the porn video, you’ll see that she ain’t too unwilling…so one could question whether or not the victim was really a victim—although the black eye backs up her story.

Forgot which one of my friends suggested that we beat up some pimps on Forty Second Street…what better way to get in a little ultra violence than whupping the shit out of some punkass pimps…and lest i forget—my droogs for those adventures were all on the Far Rock football team

So all you young girls out there SHOULD realise that there’s a whole lotta EVIL men out there…and if you don’t:

Don’t mind giving Disney a plug on THIS game…

I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon…

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman

Oops…wrong brain damage…and there’s a liet motif somewhere in this second “brain damage” song that IZ the basis of the THIRD novel

Steadfastly becoming the person in the middle…but got 20 years to NOT???

With ELEVEN YEARS more than Brett, i woke up this morning feeling very much like THIS, but that image was xangafucked

Swinging a handtruck instead of the chair i had planned to takes a longer recoup time–Ben-Gay and the hot shower in the morning don’t cut it no mo’

Alas, i may have those Wolverine genes…either THAT or i’m like the NY Yankees…OLD, but Jeteringly good after a day off

My knees are SHOT…but they’ve been shot for 30 years thanks to my Doctor J wannabeism, and i’m way too auld to rock n’roll and old enough to die…and now that i’m old enough for Geritol, don’t KNOW where the fuck to buy it

RE: the goofster’s comment…motherfucker, I been more than

For you Sirius/Xm stockwatchers…Stern WILL have a Priceline deal that’ll blow Captain Kirk’s $600 million away…does even the MotelyFool believe that Sttern’s $500 mil WASN’T 80% stocks

The New York Daily News had the epitome of sloppy journalism yesterday in reporting the Times Square “bombing.” THIS was what they wrote verbatim:

Two female cops patrolling the area noticed a man fumbling with something in the back of a Nissan SUV parked on the southwest corner of 45th St. and Broadway about 7 p.m. The man saw the officers looking and took off running.

The two cops went to the car and saw smoke, clusters of canisters and heard something fizzing, a source said. The quick-acting cops called for backup, and the bomb squad was on the way as the Crossroads of the World was evacuated.

and thanks to FreeRepublic.com it’s not just MY word vs. the Daily News

[Note: If you hit the link FreeRepublic provides to the Daily News you're led to a completely revamped article]

It’s no surprise that my favourite fabricating reporter was in the byline, but as the video above shows, by 11 P.M. Saturday night everyone knew enough about what was happening to KNOW that it wasn’t two female cops patrolling the area who came upon the scene, everyone but the editors of the Daily News, and i have to wonder whether or not Rocco Parascandola moonlights as a xanganazi since HIS name seems to have disappeared from MY tags

BTW—1-9 odds that the suspect turns out to be a Beckhead Fox “news” fanatic

Who hates the Jews more than the Jew?
Henry Miller

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you’re Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.
Lenny Bruce

It is extremely difficult for a Jew to be converted, for how can he bring himself to believe in the divinity of – another Jew?
Heinrich Heine

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly

HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.
Andrew Bierce
The Devil’s Dictionary.

If I had to baptize a Jew, I would take him to the bridge of the Elbe, hang a stone around his neck and push him over with the words “I baptize thee in the name of Abraham”.
Martin Luther

If you ever forget you’re a Jew, a Gentile will remind you.
Bernard Malamud

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Jewish Proverb

What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t invent with your mouth.
Jewish Proverb

In Jewish history there are no coincidences.
Elie Wiesel

The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.
John Adams

From the outset, the Christian was the theorizing Jew, the Jew is therefore the practical Christian, and the practical Christian has become a Jew again.
Karl Marx

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.
Jerry Falwell

The Jews are the most miserable people on earth. They are plagued everywhere, and scattered about all countries, having no certain resting place. They sit as on a wheelbarrow, without a country, people or government . . . but they are rightly served, for seeing they refused have Christ and his gospel, instead of freedom they must have servitude.
Martin Luther

What is the worldly religion of the Jew? Huckstering. What is his worldly God? Money.
Karl Marx

The Jews are irreligious, atheistic, immoral bunch of bastards.
Richard Nixon

Fittingly, this list ends with a quote by Richard Nixon, Monica Crowley and the Tea Party’s god before Reagan

Have fallen behind on my Jewish Sentinel readings…but this one by Judge David J. Richman:

In Mishpatim, we also find one of the verses I have now come to look upon most favorably. In chapter 22, verse 27, we read, in Hebrew, “Elohim, lo t’kallal…elohim, thou shalt not revile; and leaders among your people you shall not curse.” Why does this particular verse resonate with me? Because the word elohim, which on most occasions in the Bible refers to God, here is referring to judges

And Judge Richman suggests that you read the Rashi commentary for further illumination, but of course i cannot find a good version of THAT online for free

Now if i wasn’t so interested in rocket science as a chile, i wouldn’t have bothered my friends zeydes and bubbies with German words i couldn’t find in my German/English dictionary as i tried to decipher the magic of rocket science as our country raced towards the moon.

Should’ve been bothering those friends for a peek at their Hebrew school books instead—but myopic me couldn’t see the sea of possibilities that is the Hebrew language

The fact that the Hebrew word for God and judge is both the same is amazing to me…idealistically, a judge IS almost godlike, even if you’re an atheist.

It’s interesting to note that after Lenny Bruce was acquitted for saying cocksucker in the cocksucking capital of the world, Chicago judge Daniel J. Ryan said to Lenny’s appeal lawyers: For you guys I’ll do anything…[b]ut for that cocksucker Bruce, I’ll do nothing.

At the Chicago trial Officer Noro testified that Lenny said, “We fucked their mothers with Hershey Bars” when in fact Lenny [opining why Americans were hated], said, “You know why? Cause we fucked all their mothers for chocolate bars.”

Now, according to Collins & Skover, Lenny was being prosecuted (albeit indirectly) for blasphemy. But the Supreme Court already had made it clear that there was little or no room for blasphemy prosecutions in a world committed to the First Amendment of James Madison

Now isn’t James Madison one of those godlike Founding Fathers who said The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations???

Collins & Skover are partially right about Lenny being persecuted because of “blasphemy,” but Lenny Bruce was first and foremost the father of philosophical pornography—the epitome of QUESTION authority, and like me he’d be laughing his motherfucking ass off at all these Tea Party clones who are doing the same shit hippies were doing forty-odd years ago

And of course, he was a JEW

Martin Luther was never bashful about his compassion for the Jews–If I had to baptize a Jew, I would take him to the bridge of the Elbe, hang a stone around his neck and push him over with the words “I baptize thee in the name of Abraham”. and Marx showed the schizophrenic self-hatred that Henry Miller says in epidemic amongst the Jews, but like the old hippies, they STILL persist with tikkum olam

Fuckin’ socialists

The fury over Wall Street Fat Cats reached a new high on Capitol Hill this week, as a police lineup of Goldman Sach’ers came to scratch and yawn while senators desperately tried to make them admit … well, frankly, anything.

Part of the problem was a language barrier. The senators were speaking in Outrage — a commonly-understood tongue of the American populace. But the GSers were answering in Filthy-Richese — a rare dialect of that language known as I’ve-Got-More-Money-Than-the-Pope. And btw, he’s got a boss … I don’t.

Yeah, so in case y’all ain’t noticed…been slaving my ass off the past week, NOT because i’m overworked, but because i’ve been overTAXED by them MTA motherfuckers

When i am at war with someONE or someTHANG, especially a bitchboy i went to school with…shoutdMOtherFuck out Jay Walder…you long time readers KNOW shiite ain’t exactly kosher in ER land

Been SO tired that i don’t even WRITE as much as i did…but since most of y’all never hit the links, you don’t realise WHAT it takes to write a REAL blob

OFFLINE..lots of Nigroes wondering about all these high-profile white bitches nigger addoptions

Didn’t KNOW what Howard Stern was talking about when HE riffed that SB’s baby cwould whup his ass when the chile grows up…AFTER seeing this picture, methinks homey’ll be too busy fucking Sandra up her ass…remember monkey lady???

Unlike Madonna, who like Mae West will have plenty of TAKERS well into her 80′s, Sandy’ll probably be sucking HIS dick a year or two before he even hits his ‘tween years…..

THAT title sounds deep, don’t it??? And it might even be original

…the sum of our vices—SOUNDS almost like somethang you’d see in Proverbs, right

While most of Amerikkka was getting ready to go to church this morning, i’m in the laundromat reading The Trials of Lenny Bruce like it’s the bible…and YEAH, i read that book like most sheeple read the bible…once or twice a week

Too much “work” on the klantation to READ like i used to read—instead of 3 to 4 books a week AND my daily four newspapers, THREE papers a day and maybe a book a month

However, i saw THIS throwaway article in the free NYC newspaper that hipped me to the Flushing Remonstrance:

1657: The Flushing Remonstrance, a forerunner to the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, is signed by 30 residents in the area then called Vlissengen and part of New Netherlands. They risked fines and banishment by Gov. Peter Stuyvesant for freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly and the RIGHT to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

NOW most of you teabaggers are incognizant that the Founding Fathers were Obama wannabes…[and WHY y'all don't evoke the name teabagger is beyond ME---BETTER a teabagger than a teabagee--in MY book a "teabager" is THE MAN on top---and it amuses ME that both the right & left doesn't seem to realise this

The so-called liberals are now being attacked by Aljazeera

wannabes led by Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee, and i can see why conservatives are gleeful about this...but what they are missing is the fact that a threat to one is a threat to ALL---GW had it right when he said the war on terrorism was a CRUSADE

GW and the world dropped the ball when the Taliban was destroying Buddhas, and the result was 9/11.

President Obama is eerily silent on this ATTACK on americans...and since it's basically a crips & bloods world when it comes to "diplomacy"...punks like Zach Chesser think they're gangsta because they hang out with the biggest bullies on the block...they're still bitchboys

Ran into an OG on Fifth Avenue today--Guardian Angels' founder Curtis Sliwa.

He looked like my grandfather in the prime of grandfatherdom--old, but by no means frail--and since he's Curtis Sliwa, i not only wondered could i fuck with him if i was in my prime...but KNOWING who he is, who in their right minds would fuck with him

Yo, this is a dude who went up against the Gambino crime family and NEVER backed down...which just goes to show you--IF you wanna run around claiming "rights" you better be able to take a bullet for them!

The South Park crew punked...but our dearly beloved POTUS should've said something about it.....

Roll into MY house and threaten one of mine, one of us gonna bodybag it.

In my high school Spanish class some deranged substitute teacher was fucking with everyone in the class until she fucked with Rhonda Sobel...at which point i grabbed the flag and started lecturing HER about the Bill of Rights---my father would've beat the living shit out of me if he found out about that---fortunately OUR teacher was the head of the department [and assistant principal]…when SHE found out what happened that day she banned the sub for life

But there’s an auld West Indian saying–Don’t let your mouth make a Guinea pig out of your ass—took ME a few asswhuppings to figure out that one